


April Ludgate, Supervillain

by talibusorabat (hermitcave)



Category: Parks and Recreation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-04
Updated: 2011-12-04
Packaged: 2017-10-26 21:29:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/288121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hermitcave/pseuds/talibusorabat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>April is smart and she is misanthropic. I think she’s fully capable of becoming the most powerful supervillain this world has ever seen. And if she does, I don’t think anyone could stop her.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Crisis

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shinealightonme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinealightonme/gifts).



> Set pre-series.

“RON!”

Ron stared longingly at the Big Meaty Package in his hands.

“RON, WE HAVE A CRISIS!”

“Soon, my precious,” he whispered to the sandwich, and set it down as Leslie burst into the room. The dweeby college student that City Hall had given permission to film a documentary followed behind her. Ron almost felt sorry for the kid. Leslie Knope was not an easy woman to keep up with.

“Now Leslie, just calm down -“

“CALM DOWN?” Leslie slammed a piece of paper on his desk. “Just _look_ what April wrote.”

He picked up the paper. It was one of Leslie’s stupid intern forms - a variation of “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

 _A supervillain_ , April had written. Ron smiled. That girl was going places.

“Why are you smiling?” Leslie asked. “You shouldn’t be smiling. This is nothing to smile about. This is a very serious issue.”

“Oh come on,” Ron said. “This is just April being April. You ask her a stupid question, she offers a snarky response.”

“Are you sure about that?” Leslie leaned forward, her eyes intense. “Because I’m not. April is smart and she is misanthropic. I think she’s fully capable of becoming the most powerful supervillain this world has ever seen. And if she does, I don’t think anyone could stop her.”

“You’re being over dramatic, Leslie.”

“Am I?”

“Yes, you are.” Leslie narrowed her eyes at him, and he continued. “Look, the only thing April hates more than the human race is work. Being a supervillain would be too much effort.”

“You have a point.” She leaned back in her seat and sighed. “I worry about that girl, Ron.”

“I know you do, Leslie.”

“She has so much potential!” she continued. “She could be our second female president. Or an astronaut! _Or_ the most terrifying supervillain mankind has ever known. Her apathy has kept her power in check so far, but for how long, Ron? _How long_?” Her hand flashed out and before Ron could react, she had clasped his in a visor-like grip. She stared earnestly into his eyes. “We need to make sure she uses her powers for good.”

There was only one way he could (legally) get her to let go of his hand.

“I’ll talk to her,” he grumbled.

“Thank you!” She finally let go and - just like that! - she was gone. The film student stood around, unsure what to film next.

“Get that thing out of here,” Ron told her. “Or I will break it. And you.”

She left.

If only all problems were as easily banished.


	2. April's Master Plan

“Totally.”

Ron’s smile remained frozen in place. “Run that by me again?”

April looked up from filing her nails. “I am totally serious about becoming a supervillain,” she said. “It’s my destiny.”

He had really hoped she would have tired of the farce by now. “Look,” he said.“Just tell Leslie it was a joke so she’ll get off my back.”

“You’re asking me to lie to Leslie?”

Ron arched an eyebrow. “You’re an aspiring supervillain who has a problem with lying?”

April returned her attention to her nails. “It introduces a level of moral ambiguity I will not abide in my New World Order,” she said.

“And how exactly do you plan on bringing about this New World Order?” he asked.

“It’s quite simple, really.” Without looking up, April pulled out a portfolio and handed it to Ron. It was almost Leslie-lian in its beautiful, color-coded complexity. “I’ve based it on the theory of pandemics.”

“I’ll start with Pawnee.” She spoke in her usual monotone, which Ron did not find reassuring.Normally when April pulled a prank, she aped at some kind of human emotion. “I’ll form a cult. We’ve done it before; shouldn’t be hard. But instead of playing flutes and predicting the end of the world, I’ll send my followers out across America, where they will infect other people. Then those people will infect other people. Anyone who proves immune, we’ll kill. In a few years’ time, the world will be mine.”

 _Shit_. That…actually could work. Ron looked down at the portfolio. He had never known April to put this much effort into a prank before.

If she had lost her protective layer of apathy…who knew what the girl was capable of. April looked up into his eyes, and Ron felt a chill in his soul.

“Tell you what,” she said. “I’ll lie to Leslie, _if_ you agree to be my high priest.”

“…I’m going back to my office,” he said.

April shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

He backed slowly out of the room.

  


He was actually on his way to get a Triple Decker to comfort himself when Leslie ran into him, the ever-present film student at her heels.

“Oooh, what is that color coded beauty?” she asked, and snatched the portfolio out of his hands. When she saw what it was, her face went white. “Oh no.”

“It’s just a prank, Leslie,” Ron said hurriedly. “April’s just messing with you.”

“April Ludgate does not create beautifully organized master plans with color coding and _footnotes_ as a **prank**!” Leslie cried.

 _Footnotes?_ Shit. “Maybe she’ll get tired of -“ he tried to say, but Leslie wasn’t listening.

“The apathy has lifted,” she said numbly. “We’re doomed.”

Ron patted her on the shoulder and made his way past her. If it was the end of the world, he was going to get two Triple Deckers. With bacon.


	3. BRAVE-ery

As a libertarian, Ron did not believe in getting involved in other people’s business. Or with people at all, though he did know some traitorously sociable Ron Paul supporters. Until April’s New World Order took away his guns or his beef, he didn’t care whether she was serious or not.

Unfortunately, Leslie did.

“Ron, get in here!”

He trudged into the meeting room, where Leslie had gathered the entire Parks & Recreation department, sans April. The film student stood in the far corner, trying to make herself as inconspicuous as possible.

“Leslie, what the hell is this?” Ron asked.

“This -“ Leslie struck the large, complicated diagram behind her with a giant pointing stick. “- is a strategy meeting.” She raised her voice, partially for dramatic effect, partially to be heard over Ron’s groan. “From now on, we are no longer Pawnee’s Parks and Recreation department. We are the Bold Responders to April’s Villainous Experiment, also known as BRAVE. Isn’t that awesome? It took me all night to come up with it.”

Donna rolled her eyes. “Don’t you ever _sleep_ , Leslie?”

“Not unless absolutely necessary. So! Thanks to Ron’s BRAVE-ery - see what I did there? - We have a copy of April’s Master Plan. I have gone through all 432 pages and taken detailed notes. Now I won’t bore you with the nitty gritty details -“

“THANK GOD!” Tom cried.

“ - But here’s the gist of it.” And she launched into a detailed explanation of her chart.

“LESLIE!” Ron cut her off. “Why don’t you just give us our assignments.”

“But it’s important to have context-“

“Leslie.”

She sighed. “ _Fine_. Tom, follow April after work. Unconvert any people she may convert. Donna, same thing but you’ll be alternating shifts. Here is your schedule.” She handed them both a packet of color-coded calendars for the next six months. “Ron, continue to try and talk April out of this madness. I’ll talk to the Mayor about preparing for worst-case scenarios.” She sighed. “I really hope we don’t have to take this to the President.”

“What about me, Leslie?” Jerry asked.

“Jerry…” It took Leslie a moment. “Make sure April doesn’t convert you.”

 _Lucky bastard_ , Ron thought. There were definite perks to being the least-favorite person in the office, which Jerry didn’t seem to appreciate.

“Now, do you understand your assignments?”

“Yes, Leslie,” the group groaned.

“Good. Get out there and be BRAVE!”

  


The film student followed Ron into his office. “Do you have a few minutes for some questions?” she asked.

“Two,” Ron said.

“Minutes or questions?”

“Whichever is shorter.”

“What do you think of Leslie’s plan?”

“Leslie’s plan is insane. Like most of her plans.”

“Do you think it’s a waste of taxpayer dollars?”

“No.” The student seemed rightfully surprised - this was the first time in memory that Ron Swanson had said “no” to such a question. “If this is true, then April Ludgate represents a clear and present danger to the citizens of the United States. Defending our borders - even from within - is the only legitimate responsibility of the government.”

“What if it’s not true?”

Technically, that was question number three, but Ron decided to answer anyway. “Then it’s less of a waste of money than Leslie’s other plans. I mean really, what business does the government have running a park?”


	4. Alas, Poor Gergich

“Ron, this has to stop.”

Ron looked up at Tom and Donna, who were already sitting across from him in chairs they had brought in.

“Please, come in, have a seat,” he said.

“You gotta put an end to this, Ron,” Tom said.

“Look, you know as well as I do that once Leslie gets an idea in her head-“

“We’re not talking about Leslie!” Donna said.

“April’s got more followers than a bank with free money!” Tom said. “And they’re rabid! Vicious! Un-unconvertable! Believe me, I’ve tried every trick in every book. Seriously. I even went to the _library_.”

They all shivered.

“She hasn’t converted any librarians, has she?” Ron asked.

Tom shook his head. “It’s just a matter of time.”

“The point is, this is out of our power,” Donna said. “And Leslie ain’t having any luck with the Mayor. Nobody outside of this office is gonna take this shit seriously.”

“Ron Swanson, you are our only hope,” Tom said. “You’re the only person that April doesn’t completely hate. There is a remote possibility that she will actually listen to you.”

“I’ve already tried talking to her,” Ron said. “She’s not gonna budge. Trust me, she’ll get bored eventually.”

“No she won’t.” Jerry stood in Ron’s doorway and smiled. Ron had never seen anything so horrifying in his life. “April has finally taken the first step in shedding her human form.”

“Jerry-“

The older man ignored Ron completely. “Soon she will arise as a goddess and smite the wicked and reward those who worship her.” His smile somehow managed to get even worse. “If you’re smart, you will join her cause before the Day of Judgement.” He ambled back to his desk.

Tom and Donna turned back to Ron.

“Yeah, okay,” he said, standing.

Leslie and the film student ran into the room. “RON! RON! JERRY -“

“I know,” he said. “Let’s go.”


	5. The Final Confrontation

They walked across the room towards the courtyard, Ron and Leslie leading while Tom, Donna, and the film student flanked them.

“Boom chucka boom chucka dunnnn dunnnn dunnn.”

“Tom, no background music.”

“Awwww, come on! Every epic confrontation needs battle music!”

“No.”

“Fine.” Tom leaned over and whispered to the film student. “You can add that shit in, right?” She nodded. “Good.”

April didn’t even bother looking up from her lunch, though she clearly knew they were coming.

“April!” Leslie cried. “We, the members of BRAVE, are here to stop you.” She dropped herself in the seat next to April and grabbed the younger woman’s hands. “You know I love you and look upon you as a younger sister -“

“Does that mean you’re older or I am?”

“I am. But I can’t let you do this. You are intelligent and capable and powerful, and I can’t let you use your powers for evil.”

“The joke’s over, April,” Ron said. “It was funny when it was just the idiot citizenry, but I don’t want your stupid cultists working anywhere near my office.” He gestured back to Jerry.

April sighed. “Fine. Whatever. It was too much work anyway.”

Leslie blinked. “That’s it? You’re giving up your dream _that_ easily?”

“Leslie, remember whose side you’re on!” Tom hissed.

“I wasn’t _really_ trying to be a supervillain,” April said, rolling her eyes. “I just wanted to make the stupid documentary thing interesting.” She pointed at the film student, whose jaw dropped.

“By the way, you owe me fifty bucks,” the intern added. “I bribed a bunch of people to pretend to be my cult members to freak everyone out.”

“You mean you did all this to help somebody else?”

April leaned back, looking terrified of the tears in Leslie’s eyes. “No way. I just thought it would be fun. Get away from me.”

“Well, my work here is done,” Ron said, and ignored April’s pleas for help as Leslie hugged her and repeated over and over again how proud she was. As he headed back to his office, he clapped his hand on the film student’s shoulder. “You’ll get me a copy of the final film?” She nodded. “Good.”

Whistling, Ron went back to his office to finish his Big Meaty Package.


End file.
